Hello everybody! Sorry it has been a while since my last post, sometimes I forget that I have a blog and that a few people actually read it! Haha Not too much new going on here, but here is my past week.
My highs for the week:
-I started researching/looking into all the steps and paperwork that need to get done for Abe to get his visa to work and live in the US. We are going to get started on this long journey in the next few months. We hope to be back in the US within the next year or two. But we´ll see how it goes. I´m just excited thinking about it! I know it will be a long, difficult, and expensive process, but I have faith that everything will work out perfectly.
-I received a message from a girl I worked with at Lutheridge last summer who was with me on one of our road trips (I was the road Area Director). She had to write a paper for one of her classes about leaders that inspired her and she picked me as one of the people she wrote about! She sent me a copy of her paper and I was just touched, honored and flattered. She had such sweet things to say about me, it really made my day. You never know who´s life you will touch. I thought I was just doing my job, but I made an impact in her life and that makes me feel great!
-One of the online message boards that I am a part of decided to have a gift exchange. I just received my gift this week. It was a beautiful silver necklace with three things on it. The first is a big silver circle that says 12-25-10, which was my estimated due date for the baby. The second is a smaller circle with two little feet on it in memory of the baby. And the third is a beautiful blue stone, the birthstone for December. I love the necklace and it is such a sweet reminder of my little angel. I will try to post a picture of it soon.
My low for the week: Hmm...Nothing really jumps to my mind, I guess it´s just super hot and dry, like always and money is a little tight. Nothing too major though.
Where I saw God this week: I felt like He was speaking to me through my friend and her sweet message, saying ¨Good job, Megan, you served me well and spread my Word to others and touched their lives¨. It made me very proud to be His servant and worker and I pray that I will continue to reach others´ lives because of His presence in me.
I hope everyone is having a great week! To all my family and friends in the US, I miss you and love you and can´t wait to see you and be home for a few weeks at Christmas! :-)
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Weekend
This weekend was a pretty busy one for us. Friday night we celebrated Alan´s birthday (Abe´s oldest brother) at his house. We were going to have a cookout, but it was storming (WHOOOO! We needed the rain!), so we ended up just eating the other side dishes inside. We had a good time. It was Abe and I, Alan and Debbie, Paty (Abe´s mom) and Francisco (Abe´s dad).
Then on Saturday we had a new air conditioner installed. Here they are called mini splits, but the little ones that you can put in individual rooms...because right now we have central air and it is just so expensive. (Our electricity bill for this month was ridiculous!) On top of having the new air put in, we also decided to switch our bedroom with the guest/baby room. So now we have more space and are in the biggest room. It took quite a while to make the switch happen and we worked on it for hours! I was exhausted afterwards.
This morning I woke up feeling terrible. I think it´s a cold/allergies but I missed church today and a family lunch with Abe´s aunt :-( I´m just resting at the house, relaxing and taking it easy. Hope everyone had a great weekend!
Here are some pictures from the party on Friday:
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
This week
Hey all, sorry if I´ve been slacking...I am actually doing some teaching this week! Abe´s brother runs an English school here and one of their teachers is out this week, so I am substituting for her. Luckily, it´s a class I´ve already taught before and I´m familiar with the material. It´s a TOEFL class, which means Test of English as a Foreign Language. It consists of Listening, Reading, and Writing. So this week I´m just going over the practice test with the students and getting them familiar with it. It´s a good class so far, 4 students, all around my age. They´re a little on the quiet side, but I´m sure that´s just because I´m new to them!
So, here´s my week so far:
My highs for the week:
-Two of my friends (who have both had previous miscarriages) just found out they are pregnant! I am very happy and excited for them!
-I am enjoying teaching again. It´s nice to feel productive, needed, and useful. I haven´t taught in a school since the end of January, so it´s been a while. I love the feeling I get when I explain something to the students that they didn´t understand before. I love being able to help them, using my gifts and talents! It´s a great high!
-Abe sprayed our house with pesticide so hopefully no more cockroaches or black widows! And yes, we do have lots of black widows. I see some probably every week. Our back patio is covered with dead cockroaches. And when I say there are probably 80 dead ones out there, I´m not exaggerating at all! It´s an interesting sight to see!
My low for this week: Two friends who were pregnant (one who has had a previous miscarriage), lost their babies this week. It just breaks my heart that this kind of thing even happens. It´s something that I don´t understand, but I just have to trust that God has it under control. They will continue to be in my prayers.
Where I saw God this week: This week I felt God in my marriage. I felt Him giving me strength and patience, even when things got frustrating. I really feel like He is in this with us and always present.
Well, I´m off to cook dinner before class tonight, until next time! :-)
So, here´s my week so far:
My highs for the week:
-Two of my friends (who have both had previous miscarriages) just found out they are pregnant! I am very happy and excited for them!
-I am enjoying teaching again. It´s nice to feel productive, needed, and useful. I haven´t taught in a school since the end of January, so it´s been a while. I love the feeling I get when I explain something to the students that they didn´t understand before. I love being able to help them, using my gifts and talents! It´s a great high!
-Abe sprayed our house with pesticide so hopefully no more cockroaches or black widows! And yes, we do have lots of black widows. I see some probably every week. Our back patio is covered with dead cockroaches. And when I say there are probably 80 dead ones out there, I´m not exaggerating at all! It´s an interesting sight to see!
My low for this week: Two friends who were pregnant (one who has had a previous miscarriage), lost their babies this week. It just breaks my heart that this kind of thing even happens. It´s something that I don´t understand, but I just have to trust that God has it under control. They will continue to be in my prayers.
Where I saw God this week: This week I felt God in my marriage. I felt Him giving me strength and patience, even when things got frustrating. I really feel like He is in this with us and always present.
Well, I´m off to cook dinner before class tonight, until next time! :-)
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
A little late...
Sorry I missed yesterday´s post. I had some stuff going on. So here goes:
My highs for the week:
-Spending time with a friend who I haven´t hung out with /talked to in a while
-Receiving lots of positive feedback/support/love from my loss story and about my blog in general (thanks to everyone who reads and who sends support!)
My low for the week: I don´t want to get into detail, but I just want to say that life is tough sometimes. And that includes marriage. Specifically the first year. But I have faith in God and I know that He will get us through anything that comes our way if we just trust in Him. I love my husband deeply and that will never change.
Where I saw God: This week I saw God in my friendships. Being able to talk/vent to a good friend here in Mexico, I really felt His presence through her and I appreciate her being there for me and listening. And I also saw God through two good friends that I´ve met online. They have been there for me since I´ve ¨met¨ them and they have been sending lots of love, prayers, and positive thoughts my way and I am very thankful for them. I think we all need good friends in our lives and I´m so thankful for all the great friends that God has given me.
My highs for the week:
-Spending time with a friend who I haven´t hung out with /talked to in a while
-Receiving lots of positive feedback/support/love from my loss story and about my blog in general (thanks to everyone who reads and who sends support!)
My low for the week: I don´t want to get into detail, but I just want to say that life is tough sometimes. And that includes marriage. Specifically the first year. But I have faith in God and I know that He will get us through anything that comes our way if we just trust in Him. I love my husband deeply and that will never change.
Where I saw God: This week I saw God in my friendships. Being able to talk/vent to a good friend here in Mexico, I really felt His presence through her and I appreciate her being there for me and listening. And I also saw God through two good friends that I´ve met online. They have been there for me since I´ve ¨met¨ them and they have been sending lots of love, prayers, and positive thoughts my way and I am very thankful for them. I think we all need good friends in our lives and I´m so thankful for all the great friends that God has given me.
Here are some pictures of me and some of my friends: (If there isn´t a picture of you on here, please don´t be mad at me or offended! I promise, you are my friend, I can only post so many photos on here though!)
Thursday, August 5, 2010
3 months
3 months ago today I had a miscarriage. Not a day goes by that I don´t think of it. It was probably one of the worst days of my life. If you would like to continue reading (even though it might be difficult or uncomfortable to read), then I would like to share my story with you...
We got married in December ´09. We initially had decided to wait one year before trying to conceive. But we also kind of took the ¨we´re not going to do anything to prevent it, so if it happens, it happens¨ approach. Lo and behold, 4 months into our marriage, I got pregnant. I felt so blessed and was so thankful that it happened so quickly. I was thrilled. Abe was more nervous and scared. But either way, we were happy and excited.
I thought it was just meant to be considering we conceived on/around Easter and I would be due on Christmas Day. (For a Christian, these are probably two of the most important days of the year, so for me, these were both big signs from God.) Each morning before Abe would leave for work and every night when he came home from work, he would kiss my belly and talk to it and tell it that he loves it. It was so cute and sweet. We scheduled my first OBGYN appointment for May 5th. I started to eat healthier, exercised more, read books about pregnancy, started a belly journal, started buying baby clothes and maternity clothes...basically just imagining that in about 8 months we would have our perfect, precious, healthy baby and that everything would be fine up until then.
Well, news flash folks, life is not perfect, nor is pregnancy. And I have to admit that I am so jealous of all the women who get to have a smooth, normal, perfect pregnancy. What I wouldn´t give...
So anyways, Tuesday May 4th, I start experiencing some spotting. Of course we call the doctor, me being the worrywart/hypochondriac that I am. Doctor says, oh don´t worry, it´s fine, spotting is normal, no big deal. I called my mom (because every girl still needs her mom no matter what her age, right?) Also, I wanted my mom´s advice because before she had me, she had a miscarriage and I wanted to know what it was like and what she experienced. Unfortunately she told me hers began with spotting. Great. I tried not to dwell on it, did a ton of praying, but just had this bad, uneasy feeling in my stomach.
The next day, May 5th, I had full on bleeding and cramping. Wonderful, I thought, bye bye baby. I just knew I was having a miscarriage and the baby was gone. We went to the doctor that evening for our scheduled appointment and told her what was going on. I was prepared for the worst. She decided to do an ultrasound just to make sure. Miracle of miracles, the baby was still in there and we heard/saw the hearbeat on the monitor!!! All my hope was restored. She said I had a threatened miscarriage, which basically means there is a chance of losing the baby. She prescribed some hormones and other medications to me and put me on bedrest for the next few days. Well, turns out it was all in vain. After we got home from buying all the medicine from the pharmacy, I went to use the bathroom and there was the sac with my baby in it. Let me just say that seeing your own child, no matter how little it is, dead, just rips your heart out. We were devastated.
We went back to the doctor the next week for a followup and the ultrasound showed that my uterus was completely empty. Fortunately, my body had gotten rid of everything on its own in a very quick manner and there was no need for surgery or drugs. I was so proud of myself that day for not crying once in the doctor´s office. I managed to hold in my tears until we left the building. And then I bawled. The doctor here in Mexico told us to wait three months before trying again. My doctor in the US said we could try again as soon as I got my first period after the miscarriage.
Losing a child makes you realize how much you really wanted one in the first place, but maybe weren´t aware of it. We both agreed that we wanted to try again as soon as we could. So we have been trying now since June and we will continue to try until we have the family that we want more than anything in this world.
To all my friends and family in real life who have asked me about this, let me open up and talk to you, who have shown sympathy, who have let me cry to you, who have asked me how I´ve been doing in the past 3 months, who have prayed for Abe and I...I give many, many thanks. I am so grateful for each and every one of you and I cherish your friendship. It is so nice to know that during difficult times, you are loved and cared for, and that even though others might not personally know exactly how you´re feeling and what you´re going through, that they are there for you to offer love and support.
To all those who have known about our loss and have said or done nothing...I understand. I get that it might be difficult for you, that maybe you don´t know what to say or do or how to react. Well let me tell you this...a simple ¨I´m sorry¨ goes a long way. Really. That ´s all you need to say. Or ¨I´ve been thinking about you¨. Or ¨How are you doing?¨ Any of those are appropriate and really are all that´s necessary to show the person that you care.
To all those on Facebook who responded, thank you so much. Even though we might not be close, even though maybe we haven´t spoken in years, your words and thoughts mean the world to me.
To all the wonderful women I have met online (you know who you are)....words cannot express the gratitude I have. You ladies have been my rock the past three months and I probably would be lost without you. You are all amazing and I think about you and pray for you every day. Some of you have similar situations to me and a lot of you have been through so much more than me. I can never imagine your pain or grief or strength. All of you inspire me and give me hope.
To my wonderful, amazing husband...Lord knows how patient and understanding you have been with me. Thank you for letting me cry on your shoulder, for letting me vent, for knowing when I´m having a bad day, for letting experience all the feelings that I have been experiencing. You are the best and I am truly blessed to have you as my partner for life. You have been so strong throughout all of this and I know you are hurting too. I am here for you always.
And most importantly, I´m thankful to God. He has been by my side each and every day, during good times and bad and I know that will never change. My life would not be the same without Him in it.
If you have made it this far, I thank you for taking the time to hear my story. I ask that if any of you who are reading know someone in your life who has experienced the loss of a child, that you just take two seconds and tell them that you are thinking of them and that you are sorry it happened to them. And I also ask that you be kind to everyone because everyone has a story and is fighting a battle of some sort and just think before you speak.
Lastly, here is the one and only picture I have of Baby Casanova at 6.5 weeks. Mommy and Daddy love you more than words and miss you everyday. We know you are with your Maker in Heaven. Jeremiah 29:11
We got married in December ´09. We initially had decided to wait one year before trying to conceive. But we also kind of took the ¨we´re not going to do anything to prevent it, so if it happens, it happens¨ approach. Lo and behold, 4 months into our marriage, I got pregnant. I felt so blessed and was so thankful that it happened so quickly. I was thrilled. Abe was more nervous and scared. But either way, we were happy and excited.
I thought it was just meant to be considering we conceived on/around Easter and I would be due on Christmas Day. (For a Christian, these are probably two of the most important days of the year, so for me, these were both big signs from God.) Each morning before Abe would leave for work and every night when he came home from work, he would kiss my belly and talk to it and tell it that he loves it. It was so cute and sweet. We scheduled my first OBGYN appointment for May 5th. I started to eat healthier, exercised more, read books about pregnancy, started a belly journal, started buying baby clothes and maternity clothes...basically just imagining that in about 8 months we would have our perfect, precious, healthy baby and that everything would be fine up until then.
Well, news flash folks, life is not perfect, nor is pregnancy. And I have to admit that I am so jealous of all the women who get to have a smooth, normal, perfect pregnancy. What I wouldn´t give...
So anyways, Tuesday May 4th, I start experiencing some spotting. Of course we call the doctor, me being the worrywart/hypochondriac that I am. Doctor says, oh don´t worry, it´s fine, spotting is normal, no big deal. I called my mom (because every girl still needs her mom no matter what her age, right?) Also, I wanted my mom´s advice because before she had me, she had a miscarriage and I wanted to know what it was like and what she experienced. Unfortunately she told me hers began with spotting. Great. I tried not to dwell on it, did a ton of praying, but just had this bad, uneasy feeling in my stomach.
The next day, May 5th, I had full on bleeding and cramping. Wonderful, I thought, bye bye baby. I just knew I was having a miscarriage and the baby was gone. We went to the doctor that evening for our scheduled appointment and told her what was going on. I was prepared for the worst. She decided to do an ultrasound just to make sure. Miracle of miracles, the baby was still in there and we heard/saw the hearbeat on the monitor!!! All my hope was restored. She said I had a threatened miscarriage, which basically means there is a chance of losing the baby. She prescribed some hormones and other medications to me and put me on bedrest for the next few days. Well, turns out it was all in vain. After we got home from buying all the medicine from the pharmacy, I went to use the bathroom and there was the sac with my baby in it. Let me just say that seeing your own child, no matter how little it is, dead, just rips your heart out. We were devastated.
We went back to the doctor the next week for a followup and the ultrasound showed that my uterus was completely empty. Fortunately, my body had gotten rid of everything on its own in a very quick manner and there was no need for surgery or drugs. I was so proud of myself that day for not crying once in the doctor´s office. I managed to hold in my tears until we left the building. And then I bawled. The doctor here in Mexico told us to wait three months before trying again. My doctor in the US said we could try again as soon as I got my first period after the miscarriage.
Losing a child makes you realize how much you really wanted one in the first place, but maybe weren´t aware of it. We both agreed that we wanted to try again as soon as we could. So we have been trying now since June and we will continue to try until we have the family that we want more than anything in this world.
To all my friends and family in real life who have asked me about this, let me open up and talk to you, who have shown sympathy, who have let me cry to you, who have asked me how I´ve been doing in the past 3 months, who have prayed for Abe and I...I give many, many thanks. I am so grateful for each and every one of you and I cherish your friendship. It is so nice to know that during difficult times, you are loved and cared for, and that even though others might not personally know exactly how you´re feeling and what you´re going through, that they are there for you to offer love and support.
To all those who have known about our loss and have said or done nothing...I understand. I get that it might be difficult for you, that maybe you don´t know what to say or do or how to react. Well let me tell you this...a simple ¨I´m sorry¨ goes a long way. Really. That ´s all you need to say. Or ¨I´ve been thinking about you¨. Or ¨How are you doing?¨ Any of those are appropriate and really are all that´s necessary to show the person that you care.
To all those on Facebook who responded, thank you so much. Even though we might not be close, even though maybe we haven´t spoken in years, your words and thoughts mean the world to me.
To all the wonderful women I have met online (you know who you are)....words cannot express the gratitude I have. You ladies have been my rock the past three months and I probably would be lost without you. You are all amazing and I think about you and pray for you every day. Some of you have similar situations to me and a lot of you have been through so much more than me. I can never imagine your pain or grief or strength. All of you inspire me and give me hope.
To my wonderful, amazing husband...Lord knows how patient and understanding you have been with me. Thank you for letting me cry on your shoulder, for letting me vent, for knowing when I´m having a bad day, for letting experience all the feelings that I have been experiencing. You are the best and I am truly blessed to have you as my partner for life. You have been so strong throughout all of this and I know you are hurting too. I am here for you always.
And most importantly, I´m thankful to God. He has been by my side each and every day, during good times and bad and I know that will never change. My life would not be the same without Him in it.
If you have made it this far, I thank you for taking the time to hear my story. I ask that if any of you who are reading know someone in your life who has experienced the loss of a child, that you just take two seconds and tell them that you are thinking of them and that you are sorry it happened to them. And I also ask that you be kind to everyone because everyone has a story and is fighting a battle of some sort and just think before you speak.
Lastly, here is the one and only picture I have of Baby Casanova at 6.5 weeks. Mommy and Daddy love you more than words and miss you everyday. We know you are with your Maker in Heaven. Jeremiah 29:11
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
I was so right...
...about Roberto!!! Whoo!! He and Ali are so freaking cute :-) And I´m pretty proud of myself for putting him as the final guy since day one. Anyways...
My highs for the week:
-We had some more rain, which is very good, considering how much we needed it.
-On Sunday after church one of the guys in the young adult group cooked some delicious food from Oaxaca, which is quickly becoming one of my favorite things to eat, so I really enjoyed that lunch!
-Abe and I had a date and went to the movies. We saw that new Cameron Diaz and Tom Cruise movie. (I don´t even know what it´s called in English, but in Spanish it´s Encuentro Explosivo.) And we have been walking more during the week when he gets home from work, which I enjoy because it gives us a chance to talk a lot and goof off.
My low for the week: This isn´t really specific to this week, but someone who used to be such close friend to me, I just feel that we are really drifting apart. We hardly ever speak or hang out. It´s not like it used to be at all. She has changed so much. I feel like she doesn´t even care about me anymore. I´m trying to be the bigger person and keep up contact and make an effort, but I feel like I don´t get anything in return, and it´s just really frustrating. I pray that we will be able to save our friendship.
Where I saw God: This week I felt God a lot. I don´t know that there was a specific time/place, but just had a feeling that He was next to me and with me a lot this week. Usually when I´m alone, like washing the dishes or something, I can feel Him. And especially in church on Sundays and Wednesdays. Just an overall feeling of His presence this week. :-) Can´t really explain it very well.
My highs for the week:
-We had some more rain, which is very good, considering how much we needed it.
-On Sunday after church one of the guys in the young adult group cooked some delicious food from Oaxaca, which is quickly becoming one of my favorite things to eat, so I really enjoyed that lunch!
-Abe and I had a date and went to the movies. We saw that new Cameron Diaz and Tom Cruise movie. (I don´t even know what it´s called in English, but in Spanish it´s Encuentro Explosivo.) And we have been walking more during the week when he gets home from work, which I enjoy because it gives us a chance to talk a lot and goof off.
My low for the week: This isn´t really specific to this week, but someone who used to be such close friend to me, I just feel that we are really drifting apart. We hardly ever speak or hang out. It´s not like it used to be at all. She has changed so much. I feel like she doesn´t even care about me anymore. I´m trying to be the bigger person and keep up contact and make an effort, but I feel like I don´t get anything in return, and it´s just really frustrating. I pray that we will be able to save our friendship.
Where I saw God: This week I felt God a lot. I don´t know that there was a specific time/place, but just had a feeling that He was next to me and with me a lot this week. Usually when I´m alone, like washing the dishes or something, I can feel Him. And especially in church on Sundays and Wednesdays. Just an overall feeling of His presence this week. :-) Can´t really explain it very well.
Monday, August 2, 2010
The Bachelorette
Yes, reality TV is dumb, cheesy, silly, dramatic, etc. But I love it and so does my dad! Ever since The Bachelor/The Bachelorette began, my dad and I have always watched it. Usually we watch together, make lists of who we like, predictions, bets, etc. Or when we weren´t watching it together, we would call during commercials to discuss it. Living here in Mexico makes it difficult to keep up with American reality TV. But luckily when I was home for a few weeks in May/June, I was able to watch the beginning of this season´s Bachelorette with Ali. And when I came back to Mexico, I found a website that I can watch it on, so this time I have been keeping up.
From the very first episode, Roberto has been my number one choice. (My number two was Jesse, but he´s long been gone.) And I´m so happy that Roberto is one of the final two. For the record, I really do like Chris too. I think he´s a great guy and deserves all the happiness in the world. But if it were my decision, Roberto would win hands down! Obviously I have a thing for Hispanic guys! ;-) As far as who is the best guy for Ali? I don´t know. I guess I will find out soon.
Anyways, just felt the need to mention this, since tonight is the big finale. I won´t be able to watch online until tomorrow...but vamos Roberto! :-)
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